They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab, I said, “Ho. Ho. Ho.”

December 13, 2007 , Dallas

It’s already mid-December and that can only mean a gay-zillion events you’re obligated to attend, and all are merry and bright. Now we loves us some merry and bright, but sometimes you need an escape from the smell of gingerbread and the laughter of children. So we’ve picked some traditional holiday outings for the addicts who need another quick tinsel fix. Plus, we’ve managed to find a couple of events to get you on the wagon and away from the manger, North Pole and harsh lights of the menorah and Kwanzaa candles.

The Snow Queen
Through Saturday, December 22
It’s not just the title for that bitter guy at the end of the bar. Now The Snow Queen is a play, too. Billed as “a fairy tale for strange adults,” that’s all we need to know.

Tickets: $10 – $15
Undermain Theatre
3200 Main Street, Dallas
www.undermaintheatre.org

Cirque Eloize: Rain
Through Sunday, December 16
Finally, an entire show of acrobatics dedicated to that little girl who lives at the Plaza Hotel in New York. Oh wait, this is Eloize with a “z” like Liza. Anyway, you’ll still enjoy the show with plenty of people bending over backwards, other circus acts, music and dancing. After all, it’s winter in Dallas and that can only mean rain. And people jumping off see-saws.

Tickets: $16 – $62
Majestic Theatre
1925 Elm Street, Dallas
www.liveatthemajestic.com

Polyphonic Spree 7th Annual Holiday Extravaganza
Sunday, December 16, 3:30 p.m. & 8:00 p.m.
It’s a cavalcade of everything Christmas as the famed 23-piece choral symphonic pop phenomenon brings holiday cheer to the Lakewood Theater. Past years have included a man in drag as Mrs. Claus, so anything can happen. And did we mention the live reindeer? Bring new un-wrapped toys for Toys for Tots and canned food for North Texas Food Bank.

Tickets: $28 in advance
Lakewood Theater
1825 Abrams Parkway, Dallas
www.lakewoodtheater.com

Prairie Lights
Through Monday, December 31
Pack the spray cheese and Vienna sausages and cram the gang in the car for an over-the-top, 2-mile drive-thru holiday exhibit featuring more than 3 million Christmas lights. Let’s hope they’re not using the one-light-goes-out-they-all-go-out kind.

Admission per car: $12 (Mon – Thurs); $15 (Fri – Sun)
Lynn Creek Park at Joe Pool Lake
5700 Lake Ridge Pkwy, Grand Prairie
www.prairielights.org

Orpheus Chamber Singers: December Dreams
Tuesday, December 18, 7:30 p.m.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! If you memorize those lyrics, you too can sing along.

Tickets: $25 – $30
St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church
6306 Kenwood Ave., Dallas
www.orpheuschambersingers.org

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