Dearest Jake Spears:
How desperately we’ve missed your scorching sexiness, that goose bump-inducing falsetto and your nonchalant comfort in stripping down to your underwear on stage.
Your latest album, Magic Hour, could easily be our favorite yet. The Bee Gees vibe you bring to the table again is still a welcome sound. Combine that with the undeniable get-up-and-danceability of the entire affair, and you’ve managed to create an album that has us utterly giddy with delight.
We love your brutally honest lyrics about commitment, love and romance from your fantastic gay perseptive. That’s something that would make those close-minded One Million Moms cringe more than a JC Penney ad with a couple of gorgeous men and their adopted children.
But most of all, we’re happy that your sound is bigger, your message is louder and your grooviness is even groovier.
Your eternal Gay List Daily fans
Full résumé and sex slave references available on request.
Catch the hilarious infomercial for Magic Hour here