While mindlessly watching late-night TV commercials recently, we pondered our future. It’s time to switch gears and learn a new trade that pays better than writing, which currently falls somewhere between minimum wage and sofa-cushion treasure.
But what to choose from the online correspondence school based in a small dictatorship just off the coast of Haiti?
Refrigeration repair? Medical monkey testing? Or a PhD in Advanced Aeronautics and Pedicure Sciences?
Sadly, none of those fit our current lifestyle of eating, drinking and analyzing the latest sexy underwear.
So we turned to the Internet for our new, life-changing passion: Molecular Mixology.
It’s the science of making f’d-up drinks that smoke, crackle and explode with ever color of the rainbow.
And now, anyone can create the same kind of imagination and taste bud-tickling cocktails that cost $15 in any decent bar. Conjure up liquid spheres of flavor. Fancy foams. Sugars that pop in your mouth.
There are 30 recipes included in the kit with a step-by-step DVD that’ll help you turn an ordinary cocktail party into something velvet-rope worthy.
Just don’t piss off your friends by charging them $300 for bottle service.