Dallas 05.27.2008

Bite-sized Breakups

Sweet endings for soured romance

Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but dumping that jerky boyfriend turns out best when done in the heat of passion. And if you’re so fired up that words fail, we’d like to suggest BitterSweets: Dumped Collection.

Inside each precious heart-shaped tin is a collection of tiny candies etched with quick and painless ways to say “see ya” to your former paramour. Some of our faves include: I GOT SOBER, DOG IS CUTER, TRADIN YOU IN and the ever-popular HE HAS A JOB.

Sure, it may not bring the same joy as throwing his Plasma TV onto the driveway from the second-story window or dowsing his entire label-queen wardrobe with indelible hot pink dye, but think of the money you’ll save in lawyer’s fees and community service hours.

They also fit perfectly in the glove compartment in case you want to have your soul-crushing message at the ready to be delivered in front of his closest friends and family. Harsh, huh, but that’ll teach him!

Other BitterSweets collections include Dejected, “for those spending Valentine’s Day alone,” and Dysfunctional, “for those stirring up the bile in toxic relationships.” And each candy is available in six different flavors such as Banana Chalk, Grape Dust or Fossilized Antacid. Yum.

$9.95 per tin
www.despair.com/bittersweets.html

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