Los Angeles 11.10.2008

Balls To The Wall

Dodge balls all over Los Angeles

We haven’t dodged balls since junior high. In fact, we’ve been rather welcoming.

The sport was cruel – boys lined up like a firing squad, only the gays sentenced to bruising. Dodgeball, along with the dreaded rope climb and the post-P.E. shower, became instigators of truancy.

Distance in time has allowed nostalgia to manifest in unexpected areas. We no longer fear post-gym showers, and dodgeball is pretty hip. (The dreaded rope climb remains just that.)

To assist in our new-found appreciation of that which tormented us in grade school, a local dodgeball league has caught our attention. The Los Angeles Dodgeball Society is giving the sport another chance.

The society is divided into two leagues based on players’ comfort-levels. The Stay Puft games are for vanilla players who aren’t into stinging and bruising. For the butch hardcore enthusiasts, the Charles Bronson League awaits.

Though we wouldn’t admit it, we’d pick Stay Puft. We spread rumors that we’re hardcore, but when it comes down to the action, we don’t like balls bruising our pretty faces.

A few other gays do. Our favorite team in the league is the Fun Active Gentlemen’s Society (F.A.G.S.). The F.A.G.S. are a force to be reckoned with in the sport. Naturally, they are the best dressed on the court, yet their prowess intimidates their competitors.

After an intense recent game, we heard something never dreamed of on childhood dodgeball courts worldwide: “F.A.G.S. kick ass!”

It was nice to hear “kick” in place of “lick,” which we had become accustomed to hearing at all the sporting events we attend (zero until now).

Here in Hollywood, F.A.G.S. are dominating dodgeball. Who would’ve thought?

For a schedule of neighborhood games or information on how to join a team, visit www.dodgeball4ever.com.

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