National 07.28.2009

A Dry Summer Awaits

The forecast calls for Sweat Block

Thomas Edison famously put forth that genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration. If that’s the case, then some of the guys we’ve dated must have been really smart.

Not that we don’t like a little sweat mixed into the bedtime hour (or 45 seconds if it’s our ex we’re talking about), but staring across at a button-up punctuated by drenched underarms at dinner isn’t exactly our idea of appetizing.

We get it though, the whole over-sweating thing. Well, in the grand gay pursuit of creating the illusion of above-humanness, we don’t get it, as in excessive sweating. Nor do we go number two, pass gas, belch, or cry (unless we’re watching Steel Magnolias or The Notebook, which may or may not cause us to do all four in the above order).

In the interest of continuing the delusion illusion, we had a “friend” test out the Sweat Block pads, a product designed to eliminate perspiration for one week.

After rubbing the pad under the armpits before bed only once a week, users will be as dry as Dr. Laura’s nether-regions for nearly seven days. Our “friend” attested to the claims, not once experiencing any date-stress-sweat or even hardcore-workout-perspiration.

There must be some hoodoo or gypsy spell in Sweat Block because we’ve… oops, we mean our “friend” has been searching for a product like this for some time now…

Two months supply of Sweat Block, $20; Six months, $51
www.sweatblock.com

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