National 04.28.2009

Butch It Up

We put our manliness on show

Overcompensation runs rampant in our culture. Most notably, Ferrari has tapped into the phenomenon and become the symbol of midlife crises or manly shortcomings.

We haven’t been immune to overcompensation either, having experimented with unclipped chest hair and designer stubble in the hopes of lowering our Kinsey score, but our ankles still ended up defying gravity by the end of the trial.

We thought the Brazilian swimwear line Butch might bring us a little closer to satisfying the illusion. Donning the collection’s tiny brief-like trunks that read “Butch” in big, indisputable type on our booty, we hit the sands hoping to fool the crowds.

However, the Butch swimwear packaged our goods in flamboyant contours and gorgeous designs, and within two skips on the hot sand, the jig was up. The trunks may be considered masculine on the shores of Ipanema, but here they’re probably more appropriate for the nation’s gay beaches, or, if you’re adventurous and keep a razorblade behind your front teeth for emergencies, breeder beaches may do.

After deciding we couldn’t use our backsides to lie, we moved on to subtler Butch designs.

Though the line offers three lengths of trunk varying from shorts to banana slings, we’ve tired of compensating and simply adore the tangas, a frisky fit that leave our mother maneuvering the signs of the cross through teary-eyed winces. The shape is great, but it’s the nautical colors and design of Butch’s current line that make it hard to remove the trunks from around our waists.

After all the experimenting with compensation, we remembered that if we can’t man it up ourselves, there’s nothing like a sexy butch thing wrapped around our waists to make us feel like the proud queens we sometimes are.

Butch Logo 09 Swimsuit (pictured): $68
www.getbutch.com

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