National 06.18.2009

Getting Off On Bad Behavior

Our fantasies are our parents’ worst nightmares

There isn’t much our parents find palatable regarding our taste in men. Their concern isn’t without its justification; our primary means for selecting our beaus typically does begin with our tongues. Regardless of the drama our reckless abandon has caused in the past, we can’t say that seeing our parents squirm in their dinner seats across from our latest fling doesn’t thrill us.

If we let our addiction to HotPrisonPals.com evolve to the next level, however, we might not taste mom’s gorgeously concocted daiquiris anytime soon. Where the site lacks in sleek, modern web-design it exceeds in masculine, very-available eye-candy.

Lonely inmates with no other way to kill their time than to lift iron reach out to those of us who have a chronic knack for choosing bad boys.

There’s Willam, for example, a 200 lb. “rock hard muscle” bisexual inmate seeking “loyal submissive types”. There is the Abercrombie-sporting blond all-American Colton (pictured) whose profile includes the words “open-minded” in all capitals. And then there’s the buff, blond house-music lover Brian who hopes his ad catches the eyes of both men and women.

The site is great at ensuring the inmates specify whether they are seeking women, men, or are open-minded to it all, making the process more streamlined than merely trolling the visitor’s area at the local jail like we normally do.

Sure, we’re no strangers to kinky prison-themed action, but still, like any internet dating site, there are areas of mom’s advice that can’t be ignored, like playing it smart.

If you’re like us and find that you’re rendered temporarily incompetent at the first glimpse of a mountainous pec, perhaps simply casting a vote on the site’s drool-worthy “hottest inmate of the year” contest is the most interaction one should seek…. though that could also be a slippery-slope for the weak kink-minded – Mr. June, our pick thanks to his lack of clothing and open mindedness, stands to be released soon…

www.hotprisonpals.com

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